forgive michelle forgive.

I really regret why oh why did i have to try to be friendly and accommodating with these people. when i know that they dont like me and i dont really like them much either. its the story of people i used to tune out and totally ignore when i was in pinas because they were mean, exclusive and pa-sosyal (i dont really like these crowds - very pretentious). one particular girl, which really grated on my nerves like nail on chalkboard, i started communicating with when i went out of the country. i mean its time to let go of the petty irritations naman noh. now, im even making offers to be friendly and all. aba. they, she spurns my efforts. HELLO.

im just trying to forgive and forget my pre-conceived notions about you and im even entertaining the chance of actually becoming friends with you. and now, you have the audacity to reject and ignore me? hey, im just being diplomatic mare. and i dont really need you in my life, truth be told. i have friends and i am happy with all of them.

but then again, okay Lord. I FORGIVE. and i release forgiveness.

sabi na nga ni Lord. its good to be friendly. but its better to actually filter and know what and who you will accept and be voices in your life. at least, ive made efforts noh. and i will continue to make efforts to be friendly with them now, if the Lord leads me (not on my own volition anymore). one thing i just learned thu this experience though, even in making friends - INQUIRE of the Lord. unguided diplomacy is overrated. it can actually cause rejection issues and garbage we wouldnt have gotten if we were careful and attentive.

you guys know me. i am soooo friendly and i accept everyone in my life. grabe this is new for me. Lord, i reject bitterness right now. because my identity is not with crowds but in You lang jud.